Thanks to Sharon

My thanks to Sharon Greer for this honest review of my book, Hidden in The Shadows, Never Give Up…..

HiddeninShadowsRIKFront cover (539x759)

 

Book review of Hidden in the Shadows Never Give Up

By Patricia E. Day

Submitted by Sharon Y Greer

The title of this book grabbed my attention because it immediately conveyed a sense of mystery which piqued my curiosity.

I found this to be an informative and interesting story dealing with the highly emotional, largely hidden topic of Wife Abuse and the sense of helplessness, guilt, shame, and fear that surrounds it.

The Prologue sets the stage for this theme and leads naturally into the first chapter which introduces the reader to the main character, Priscilla, as well as the background for the story.

As the story unfolds one sees other characters through the eyes of the writer and a sense of involvement in the issues begins to develop.

Many questions come to mind as one wonders what experiences could create the callous chilling attitude and actions displayed by the abuser, Adrian, toward someone he claimed to love and eventually married and raised a family with. The possible causes of such a mindset might have been explored in more depth to give the reader some of the warning signs that lead to the creation of an abuser.

We clearly see examples and ensuing results of the trauma experienced by Priscilla, but I am left wondering how none of these abusive actions was evident to her sons. It would seem their Mothers bloody lip caused by a blow from Adrian might have raised some questions. Also the sense of tension between their parents, and their father’s continual ‘put downs’ of their mother must have been noticed, especially by the older boy.

The story offers many helpful suggestions to assist women suffering through abusive situations. The power and Control wheel depicted at the end of the story supplies abused women with warning signs, and the chapter entitled “Be Prepared” clearly outlines information to victims of abuse who may feel too helpless to form a plan to escape their tormentor.

Well worth the read.

Patricia

Check out Sharon’s website……………

Sharon Y Greer
Author:
An Angel Before Me
See You in the Morning
Whispers of Love
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Hung Out to Dry

Long ago, discipline on British sailing ships was harsh. Punishment could involve the lash, cat-o-nine-tails, even keel hauling. A victim was tied to a rope and pulled – invariably drawing him under the vessel. If he survived he was suspended from the yardarm, left hanging, or hung-out-to-dry for a predetermined length of time. Not a welcome fate. (https://superbeefy.com website)

Is this how you feel? Abandoned?  Dejected?  Worthless?

Watching the comings and goings of birds in my garden, I noticed two grackles battling with what appeared to be a twig.  They were having a tug of war with the object in their beaks.  Only when they relaxed for a moment and dropped the ‘twig’ did I realize it was alive:  It was a worm, that they were warring over.

As it fell from their beaks, it landed on a branch below them, wriggling but unable to propel itself back to safer ground.  It was literally hanging there, an upside down U, and in great danger.

As it hung there the grackles both moved in to regain their quarry.  The worm fell again.  This time it was out of my sight, but its fight for survival continued.  I fear it must have lost the battle.  It was either gobbled down the throat, or throats of the birds, or perhaps they gave up and left it hanging there; where it would slowly die, unable to return to the comfort of its home.

We can feel that way occasionally.  When day-to-day events leave us unable to cope.  We long for our comfort zone; long for relief.  Often there is none forthcoming.  We become helpless in the struggle to survive, whether it be relational, financial or work-related.  Just like the worm we can feel powerless.  We are hung-out-to-dry, with no energy or escape available to us.

If only we could have stayed in our familiar territory, we’d be much safer.  It is often too late when we realize our choices have compromised our moral, ethical, and personal standards.

That hapless worm had no hope of survival, but we do have another option. God.

There are many promises in the Bible to aid us in our daily lives.  Here are some reassurances to that might give you comfort, and strength to carry on.

Matthew 11:28  Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  (NKJV)

Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit in me.  (NKJV)

If, at this point, God is not your thing, reach out to a trusted organization for help.  There are many resources available to you – but you have to ask.  That can be hard, because to a certain extent, you are admitting failure and we all like to think we know what is best for us.  Social services or a good church can be great places to seek (safe) help.

Don’t know a good church?  Visit different ones; attend Sunday services until you find one that you feel comfortable in.  Then you can reach out to the pastor and share your concerns, and benefit from their counsel.

Sharing your challenges with someone can be cathartic; can be a life-changer: A life saver.

Just Never Give Up!  You are more valuable than you think.

Patricia

Four Letter Words

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Four letter word.  The mere mention can conjure up one word that is complete profanity.  It is a word that I have always abhorred.  One of my uncles once described it as a word that is only used prolifically by uneducated people, because they cannot express themselves without its use.

Mm…..  well then, society, as a whole, must be lacking greatly, as it offends the ears, no matter where you are these days.

There’s another four letter word that can strike dismay into my heart.  A weather forecaster recently referred to it as winter precipitation: not wanting to mention it on camera.  Oh – you know – SNOW!  Ghastly, cold, winter ‘rain.’

I loved being outdoors in it, when my sons were young.  We would have immense fun finding hills to toboggan down.  We’d prepare a flask filled with hot drinks for all and off we would go, into the wild, white yonder. Our family had come from England and snow was a winter wonderland made to explore.

I’m not so enamored by it now.  It’s incredibly beautiful, yet treacherous.  Driving can be very difficult, walking well nigh impossible for some. I had the distinct misfortune of slipping on ice last winter; resulting in broken bones.  Now, I consider going out into white weather very carefully.  NOT that I’ve decided to become a recluse.  I’m quiet – not anti-social.  I do, however, choose to stay close to home if I can.  I find white winter weather is not harmonious to my psyche.

There’s another four letter word that can promote warmth and confidence within each of our hearts, if we choose to share it.  LOVE.  It’s God’s declaration and solution for establishing harmony among mankind.  So, while I look out my window and shake my head at the blanket of snow everywhere, I am more inclined to do the same at the state of humanity and the lack of love being shown around the world.

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts our fear, because fear involves torment.  But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.  (NKJV)

Patricia

Deplorable Behaviour

Yesterday, we (my husband and I), attended a semi-final soccer game in Kitchener, Waterloo, in which grandson Lukas was playing.

Both teams played well.  They were evenly matched and played hard to win.  The game was finally determined with penalty shots.  Good, clean game everyone.  You did well.

I wish I could say the same about many of the parent spectators of the opposing team.  The filthy language emanating from their mouths was unbelievable.  They cared nothing for anyone within hearing distance.  Nor did they concern themselves with their disparaging, lewd comments about the players, or playing, of the opposing team.  The disgusting displays of bad behavior were finally stopped when officials warned the offending parents that they would be fined, and perhaps barred from future games if their language and physical pushing offenses were to continue.

It saddens me, because this is supposed to be team sport.  It is a team-building sport, teaching discipline and respect too.  We can surely enjoy the play of all participants and cheer them on.  Spectators should be just that – spectators.  There is no need for this kind of mean conduct.  We left the game feeling dirty because of each altercation that the offending parents felt justified in displaying.

It makes me wonder how they behave at home, if this is how they behave in public.  No, on second thoughts I don’t want to know.

Well done to all the excellent players.  Keep up the good – clean – games.

Patricia

 

 

BE BOLDER GROWIN’ OLDER, by BRUCE LEITER – Book Review

How do you spend your time as you have grown older? I took a good look at myself through this book, as I own up to being a senior.

Do we give of our time and money, to assist others, or do we sit back, grumpily complaining about our situation saying, “let someone else do that.  I’ve done my bit?”  Or, do we embrace every moment with thanksgiving?

We need to realize that if we are guilty of the former comment we are effectively stepping out of life; waiting for the grave.

Old does not mean dead. Aging doesn’t give us permission to be mean or bitter.

Let Bruce Leiter’s treasure chest of suggestions allow you to become bolder, while remaining gracious. Change your mental direction and enjoy life, as you too, follow his humorous quips, question periods, and Bible studies. All of which are presented in easy-to-understand format and meant to improve our minds and hearts, as well as emotionally strengthen us, if we choose to open the pages and read it.

I found this book, not only, entertaining but also educational, once I accepted the suggestions for leading a more contented life. We sometimes, fail to recognize that we are dropping out of life, bit by bit, as tiredness, or ill-health takes over. But, we can change that by reading how to overcome the temptations of old age.

I received a copy of this book free of charge, in exchange for an honest review from http://www.bookcrash.com

 Patricia

Girl Bullies Boy

Social media often exposes bullying, and reminds each of us to be aware of this abusive tactic; asking the abused party and the abusers to seek professional help.

Girls can be more aggressive, when they are directing their cowardly actions toward boys – especially, if the boy in question is not inclined to ‘hit back.’  The attacks can be brutal and unrelenting.  The boy, feeling unable to protect himself NEEDS SOMEONE TO SPEAK UP on his behalf.  The situation has to be dealt with quickly otherwise, dire consequences can result.

This blog is excellent and I share it willingly.

Thanks, Lisa, for an excellent article.

STOP YOUR BULLYING – WHOEVER YOU ARE!

http://deepandwonderfulthoughts.wordpress.com/2013/11/13/stopping-girls-who-bully-boys-part-2/

Are You Being Controlled?

Anyone not of a controlling or abusive nature, finds it hard to understand how somebody can be that way.  A  person on the receiving end of an abuser’s behavior can find it almost impossible to escape, even though it is their deepest desire.  They are too afraid.

One would think it would be just a matter of deciding to get the heck away to safety.  It is not that simple.  Usually, by the time you realize the person you have trusted with your love is an abuser, you have been brain-washed into thinking you are worthless; mentally weak; ugly and not worthy of attention.  You have become a person of no self-esteem.  You no longer have confidence in yourself or your ability to function away from the controller in your life.  In other words – YOU NEED HELP!

So how do you know if your relationship is not healthy?  Consider some of the following:

Do you have to ask for money?

Are you threatened in any way?

Are you made to feel unimportant?  Stupid?  Ugly?

Do you suffer insults?

Can you question your partner without fear?

Are you free to leave the house when you choose?

Do you have to report every move?

Does he/she say they will commit suicide if you leave?

……..  the list can be very comprehensive.  You will be so used to the abuse that you might relate to all these and more, without identifying yourself as a victim.  You accept everything that goes wrong as being your fault – or justify that the other person is really a good person, but cannot help getting angry.  WRONG!

If you are in a safe place right now – check this link.  http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Power+and+Control+Wheel+PDF&qpvt=Power+and+Control+Wheel+PDF&FORM=IGRE

Then decide if that’s how you want to continue to live.

Patricia