Are You Being Controlled?

Anyone not of a controlling or abusive nature, finds it hard to understand how somebody can be that way.  A  person on the receiving end of an abuser’s behavior can find it almost impossible to escape, even though it is their deepest desire.  They are too afraid.

One would think it would be just a matter of deciding to get the heck away to safety.  It is not that simple.  Usually, by the time you realize the person you have trusted with your love is an abuser, you have been brain-washed into thinking you are worthless; mentally weak; ugly and not worthy of attention.  You have become a person of no self-esteem.  You no longer have confidence in yourself or your ability to function away from the controller in your life.  In other words – YOU NEED HELP!

So how do you know if your relationship is not healthy?  Consider some of the following:

Do you have to ask for money?

Are you threatened in any way?

Are you made to feel unimportant?  Stupid?  Ugly?

Do you suffer insults?

Can you question your partner without fear?

Are you free to leave the house when you choose?

Do you have to report every move?

Does he/she say they will commit suicide if you leave?

……..  the list can be very comprehensive.  You will be so used to the abuse that you might relate to all these and more, without identifying yourself as a victim.  You accept everything that goes wrong as being your fault – or justify that the other person is really a good person, but cannot help getting angry.  WRONG!

If you are in a safe place right now – check this link.  http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Power+and+Control+Wheel+PDF&qpvt=Power+and+Control+Wheel+PDF&FORM=IGRE

Then decide if that’s how you want to continue to live.

Patricia

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The Darkness Gone

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Watching a sunrise recently, I noticed how the dark clouds of night were gradually replaced with daylight.  It was as if the darkness was a black veil that an unseen hand was drawing aside, exposing the clear sky and the rising sun behind it.

I couldn’t help but make a comparison between the good or evil inside each human.  Like it or not we are all capable of sin (darkness).  We are also able to choose to be people worthy of friendship (light).

Whether you have a religious persuasion or not, how you behave makes the world of difference to those around you.  You can gather or repel people by your behavior.  I would much rather be viewed as someone people want to be around – than be somebody that people repel.

Just as the dark clouds of night withdraw to expose a glorious blue and sunny sky, we can put aside unkind actions, words and behavior, and be someone who is a pleasure to know.  A person worthy of trust and friendship.

Not sure if that makes sense, but I certainly hope you have good people around you, and not folk who manipulate or control.

Have a sunny, bright day.

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Patricia